Mission accomplished: Tic Tac steals Target's treat. Photo: Ellen Whyte
At eleven o'clock on the dot, Tic Tac trots into the office. She meows a happy greeting but there is a hint of steel in the blue eyes. Our cat is on a mission.
Tic Tac has a passion for treats. The goop in the little tubes. She's so nutty about them that we buy in bulk.
Her approach is simple. She comes in, ears perked, little stumpy tail straight up, and headbutts me in the ankle. The purr is raucous.
Seeing her, Target gets off his chair and stretches. He is also a fan and, as senior executive office snoopervisor, he delegates the begging to his junior.
When I get to my feet, Tic Tac squeals with excitement and leads us downstairs.
Inkie used to join us but he isn't into treats. These days he puts a paw over his face and continues his snooze on the sofa.
In the kitchen, Target stops for a drink of water. He then waits patiently.
But Tic Tac firmly believes that screaming makes people hurry. Her meows crescendo as I open the cupboard and assemble treat plates.
By the time I have it together (about 30 seconds) her ears are hot with excitement. The moment the plates hit the ground, she's in there.
If there were Olympic medals for guzzling, Tic Tac would win gold. She can clean her plate in five seconds. I know because I have timed her.
As she curls her spiny tongue around the last droplet, her busy mind is already plotting. I stand guard because our sweet princess whips round and boldly hijacks Target's.
Our senior cat is a warrior. He squalls defiance at cats who dare stroll down the street. I've interfered when he's warned off Polo, the giant Malamute who is our neighbour.
But when Tic Tac shoves him aside and steals his food, our wee toughie just lets her.
Which is why I stand guard. As Tic Tac ducks and goes for it, I scoop her up. We do this every single day, but her reaction never varies: She blinks huge heavenly eyes at me and says, meep.
It's her kitten voice, the one that has the entire household rolling over and doing her bidding.
While I steel my heart, Target deliberately slows down, making happy little noises to underline exactly how yummy it is. He can be a devil, our Target.
As he teases, Tic Tac wriggles and complains. Sometimes, I read her a lecture on the evils of greed and the value of mindful enjoyment.
It's pointless. Tic Tac likes her gratification instantly.
We act out our small drama regularly but earlier this week I was late with treats because I had a dentist appointment. By the time I staggered home, worn out by terror, Target was fast asleep in bed.
Tic Tac assured me that goop would make me feel better. She was right. Watching her purr as she lapped up her share did cheer me up.
I set aside Target's half and went upstairs to get started with my business day.
I was still at it when Tom came home. My mind was on work, and so the noises from downstairs floated by but didn't sink in.
There were excited meows, which is normal. All the cats go and say hello when he comes home.
The squeals of joy that followed half-registered but it wasn't until I went downstairs that it clicked: Tic Tac had persuaded Tom to paw over Target's half of the treat.
She was completely shameless, telling him that it was hers, and guzzling it down while Target was still inspecting the office shoes, car keys and laptop.
When our senior cat saw the empty treat plate and Tic Tac's smug whisker washing, his face fell. He knew he's been robbed.
To set the world to rights, I got out a new tube and gave it to Target. Tic Tac tried to float the idea that all treats must be shared, conveniently forgetting she'd snaffled an entire one, but we held firm.
We police the cats and impose standards of fairness but whether cats understand is a matter of debate.
Our cats share their food. At breakfast and dinner, they each have their bowl, but swapsies are normal. They also understand the concept of having a hungry day.
Inkie is guilty of this. He sometimes skips breakfast, sleeps all day, and then wakens up starving. Last week he inhaled his dinner, and body-blocked Tic Tac from her food while he stole Target's.
Tic Tac shrugged and Target actually licked Inkie's head. Then of course they looked at me. They didn't need to say a word. I forked out an extra meal, no questions asked. Inkie, in case you're curious, had fourths.
In the old days, scientists worried about anthropomorphising animals. They thought human beings were special. Animals, they said, have no concept of right or wrong, never mind fairness. New studies are refuting many of these ideas.
My observations tell me that cats are perfectly aware of such issues.
My proof lies in last weekend's roast chicken. Target and Tic Tac are huge fans and surprisingly Inkie wanted some too.
Animal behaviourists would have a collective hissy fit but we hauled out the treat plates and handed each kitty a little shredded meat.
They dove in with loud purrs, munching with eyes closed in gourmet delight. Then, halfway through, they looked over at each other's bowls. Noses twitching and whiskers twirling, they scrutinised carefully.
Tic Tac leaned in to inspect Target's plate. Inkie watched closely. When she was satisfied all was equal, everyone returned to their bowl.
This is why I'm convinced that cats understand fairness and practice equity. Target and Inkie know Tic Tac is greedy about treats, and they forgive her, just like Target and Tic Tac forgive Inkie for skipping breakfast and gorging at dinner.
As for our princess, Tic Tac has simply decided that when it comes to goop, "fair" is best defined as "as much as I can get away with".
To our pretty little liar, all's fair in love and goop.
Adopt Me
Ess is three months old and has had her first vaccination.
Ess is up for adoption. Photo: Sherrina Krishnan-Leyow
Ess is a sweet, friendly, sociable kitten, who loves attention. Being cuddled and petted is one of her favourite things! She has a cute, heart-shaped nose and a long thick tail which she holds high in the air. She is yet to grow into her ears. Ess will want to follow you around, to see what you are doing and whether she can be of help.
Interested adopters, please contact Sherrina at 012-202 6384 in Petaling Jaya, Selangor.
