Entrepreneur Shireen Zainudin reflects on motherhood and the invaluable lessons her children have taught her. photo: ART CHEN/The Star
Writer and co-founder of homegrown beauty brand Bluemolly Shireen Zainudin has many achievements to her name, but finds that being a mother is her No.1 full-time job.
During a casual interview in her residence’s clubhouse, Shireen, who arrives straight from a shoot for the brand she co-founded with her sister Yati Zainudin and friend, Sherry Kamaruddin, speaks candidly about parenting, the business, and her hopes for the future.
“I have a 24-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter. Obviously, having two kids with such a large age gap has been quite different from the parenting journey or the mothering journey of my friends, because it really is like bringing up two single children,” says Shireen. “It’s not like bringing up two siblings, you are really being a mother and being a mother again, because they are in such different stages of their life. It is quite daunting because they need you in such different ways.”
Shireen reveals that she grew up with strict parents, who imposed curfews and were somewhat traditional in their parenting style.
“To a lot of people, my family was probably not traditional because my mother is Chinese, my dad is Malay, and we grew up in quite an unorthodox family compared to a lot of people. But to me, they had very traditional values.
“My style with my kids is much more liberal. There is a lot more input from the kids, they can talk to me about anything, and we have very open conversations about things that I would never have been able to talk to my parents about. I really allow my children a lot of input, and I really respect their opinion. So, to me, what they want really matters, and then we discuss it,” says Shireen.
Shireen says being a mother has taught her what unconditional love is and what it means to put someone else’s needs before her own. — ART CHEN/The Star
For many, adopting and passing down values our parents instilled in us is a natural progression when it comes to raising our own children, with a few tweaks along the way.
To Shireen, respect for others is non-negotiable, and while it’s fine to have an opinion, she expects her children to be unfailingly polite.
“Honesty is very important to, but I’m not sure my kids are embodying that based on the countless inventions I’ve been told by them over the years!” she jokes.
“I don’t know what if anything is being passed down. One of the hardest lessons I am (still) learning as a parent is that my children are their own people. And they may want, value or need very different things from me, and that’s OK. Their lives are theirs to live. We’re really just here to love unconditionally – and sometimes that love is tough love – but it is unwavering. So we nurture, support and then let go.”
Most parents want only the best for their children, and for Shireen, while this is true, their future will be on their own terms.
“I don’t want to live through my kids. I don’t expect them to fulfill my unmet dreams. All I want for them is to be happy and to be good people. I always tell them to do what they love and enjoy, and that’s the only criteria for choosing a job.
“Money is obviously important, and we have to live in the real world. However, in my family, it was never emphasised to chase after material things or a high-paying job.”
She has always encouraged her children to pursue their passions – her son chose to study journalism, a decision he came to make on his own.
“Alexander has a charming writing style, which has nothing to do with me. He is also very value-oriented and loves politics and books, which are things we often discuss at home,” she shares. “I never told him what to expect, but I guess he absorbed some of our values organically. His father is also very present in his life and has the same values.”
Personal endeavours
Shireen has consistently pursued her own goals, and this year she launched Bluemolly with her co-founders, a concept conceived during the pandemic, which took two years to bring to fruition.
In the process of co-editing The Lockdown Chronicles with her friend Viji Krishnamoorthy, the themes of depression and isolation kept coming up.
Through the telling of these 19 authors’ stories through 19 short pieces, what dawned on Shireen later on was that it doesn’t take a lot to make yourself happy, an idea which contributed to the concept behind Bluemolly.
“During the second lockdown it seemed to go on forever, we (herself, Yati and Sherry) couldn’t go to each other’s houses, so we used to go for walks and meet at a pondok in Kenny Hills,” says Shireen.
“We had talked about starting something. I don’t know how lipstick came up, but it’s that one thing you put on that makes you feel better. Everyone was getting used to that ‘ugly lockdown’ look, no makeup, hair in a bun, and we said, ‘When people are going to start going out they’re going to be taking off their masks, what would make everyone feel happy?’”
The answer they came up with was lipstick, a simple pick-me-up that would make people look good and feel good within minutes.
“You can live on the essentials and be happy. A lot of the philosophy came through in Bluemolly, we wanted a small brand, with five essentials – you don’t have to have hundreds of lipsticks, you just need five, just pick a colour and go.
“I think lockdown taught me and most people I know that there are things that really make you happy in life and owning a lot of things is not one of them.”
The brand is just starting out but expansion is in the works, as they are launching their eyeshadow crayons in August.
The team worked tirelessly on development and manufacturing to ensure that all products were both cruelty-free and biodegradable, from the formulation process right through to the packaging.
“For me it was a no brainer that it was going to be organic, it was going to be green and we could not add to the landfill anymore. We wanted crayons, that’s an almost zero waste, you sharpen them and when it’s finished, there’s nothing left except the cap.”
In line with their mission to become a movement that encourages people to shop more consciously, there are philanthropic plans in the pipeline.
In June, the brand is sponsoring a two-day upskilling workshop for 25 to 50 young women who are between the ages of 18-25, in collaboration with Accelerate Global.
“They could be refugees or people from underprivileged backgrounds, who haven’t been able to get into college: these programmes are designed to get them on to that next step. The workshops will include panel discussions with women leaders, guiding the girls in turning theory into executable action, building teamwork and confidence, and finally a presentation of their Life Maps – tasks they will have to act on upon ‘graduation’,” she adds.
While Shireen does her part in trying to make the world a better place – one green product at a time – she continues to do her part in raising the future generation of adults.
Children are always taught to appreciate their parents and thank them for their guidance, but to Shireen, her children have also given her invaluable lessons.
“I think that I have so much to thank my kids for, because I’ve learned so much about life from becoming a mother. Being a mother has taught me what complete unconditional love is. It has also taught me what it means to put someone else’s needs before my own.
“Through my experience as a mother, I have learned so much about life, both the big life lessons and the smaller ones. I’ve learned about having fun and enjoying the simple things in life, like movies, hobbies, games, and just playing. It’s so great to be able to experience childhood again through my kids and enjoy the things that they do.”
Her hope for her children is that they will never stop asking questions.
“I would hope that my kids will always be curious in life,” says Shireen. “That though they might march to the beat of their own internal drums they carry with them a sense of fairness and embrace ‘differences’ in all its forms.”
