Issues on which the generations differ frequently aren’t ideological but simply variations in how the different generations live their lives. This makes bridging the generation gap much simpler. Here are some easy ways to get closer to your teens and tweens.
Tech-ties that bind
The greatest difference perceived between the generations, even between parent and child, is the way they use technology.
Advances in technology are fast-paced and difficult to keep up with, even for a 40-something career parent! Use this difference to advantage by asking for help in learning new technology.
Don’t worry about learning everything the kids know about technology. The best strategy is to zero in on a few things that you are interested in, such as how to download music or manage photos online.
Even if you walk away feeling more confused than before, at least you have had a special moment with your child and if it turns out well, you will have an enjoyable time together.
By doing so, you also send a message to your teens/tweens that you are open to learning new things from them. If you are a tech-savvy parent, go ahead and create a Facebook account, add them as friends. Start writing a blog or tweeting.
You may want to adopt their lingo and use simple acronyms like LOL (laugh out loud), TTFN (ta ta for now) and HAND (have a nice day) to connect with them.
When you get better at it, you can throw in the higher-level ones, for instance COTFLGOHAHA (crawling on the floor laughing guts out having a heart attack), so that your teen or tween can exclaim BAIK! (No, it does not mean “good” but “boy, am I confused!”)
Who knows they might ask for more.
Bingo! There you are, right before your eyes, you have created opportunity to communicate with them without your having to initiate it.
For the more adventurous, you may even want to try some online games with your kids and hopefully, you are not the one who gets addicted to them!
Play that funky music
Another area in which young and old are commonly reported to differ is their tastes in music. Although young people love having their own kind of music, they also often enjoy sharing what they like with others.
Ask your teens or tweens to play some of their favourite music for you and to explain why they favour it. You may be surprised to find that you like some of the stuff as well. In return, share some of your favourites.
You may open them up to a world of music of which they were previously unaware. You can do likewise with TV shows, movies, or even magazines.
Most kids are actually interested in their parents’ lives, so don’t assume anything you have to say will come across as boring to them. What I think will be interesting is to discuss the different genres and styles of music with your teens and tweens. From oldies, country music, evergreens, pop, rock, and hip hop to even heavy metal. It does not mean that you have to like what they like.
One suggestion is to get a remixed version of a 1970s or 80s song. Then you and your child can learn to appreciate the song from each other’s perspectives. Finding common ground and creating positive memories together can definitely encourage cross-generational communication and interest.
We are different
The reality of a generation gap may only be in terms of age. If we put our egos aside and look at things from an entirely different perspective, we would perhaps never have a gap between us and our children. This does not mean we do not do what is needed as parents. It just means we become a little more understanding and accepting of what our children see as their “world”.
In fact, come to think of it, the term “generation gap” may no longer be an accurate reflection of the generational landscape. The term assumes the gap existing between young and old will narrow, if not close entirely, as the younger generation grows older. The expected result then assumes that the members of the younger generation will ultimately look, act, and think a lot like their parents as they become the older generation. This may not be the case.
The truth is, generations do not grow up to look like their parents’. We are different, period. And that’s okay!
The key to narrowing the generation gap is to acknowledge the differences and accept them. In doing so, we give permission for the younger generation to supersede us and be better than us. We may never be able to completely close the gap, but we can surely come to a point where we disagree agreeably and
are still able to celebrate the differences.
Charis Patrick is a trainer and family life educator who is married with four children.
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