Mind your language: Words can inflame, wound, and leave lasting scars. - 123rf.com
SOME words can sting and leave a lasting mark, even leading to tragic outcomes.
Recently, 30-year-old activist and social media influencer Rajeswary Appahu, also known as Esha, fell victim to harassment by a group on TikTok. This group reportedly engages in both online and offline bullying.
Rajeswary filed a police report on July 4, naming two individuals for cyberbullying her. She was found dead from apparent suicide a day later.
Here, some youths share their experiences coping with verbal offences. Their comments were obtained by Tina Low, a participant of the BRATs Young Journalist Programme run by The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) team.
Those suffering from mental health issues or contemplating suicide can reach out to the following support services: Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935 or 014-322 3392); Talian Kasih (15999 or 019-261 5999 on WhatsApp); Jakim’s Family, Social and Community Care Centre (011-1959 8214 on WhatsApp); and Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (03-7627 2929, www.befrienders.org.my/centre-in-malaysia, or sam@befrienders.org.my).
“Wearing glasses for the first time felt new. Many of my classmates complimented me, saying I looked presentable and pleasant, while some said I looked like an ‘emotional mess’ and that the glasses didn’t suit me. I felt deeply offended even though I knew they didn’t mean to hurt me. In the end, I learnt to keep an open mind towards the opinions of others. We have the power to choose how we want to feel.” – Zen, 14
“I felt offended and hurt when my classmates started making racist jokes about me. At first, it was overwhelming but over time, I managed to put a stop to their behaviour by confronting them. I explained how their jokes were hurtful and could negatively impact someone’s mental health. Eventually, they understood. To cope with the situation, I reassured myself that my classmates did not mean to hurt me and I talked to an older person about it.” – Rayyan, 16
“In secondary school, I was often labelled a ‘bookworm’ or ‘geek’. This stung, making me feel isolated and self-conscious. Initially, I avoided situations where I might face ridicule. Over time, I learnt to embrace my passions and find strength in my identity. Surrounding myself with supportive friends helped immensely. My coping strategies included brushing off insults with witty comebacks and focusing on my strengths. Ultimately, I realised that embracing who I am is far more empowering than letting hurtful words define me.” – Aiden, 22
“I was very nervous on my first day in secondary school. I couldn’t speak Malay well at the time. In the first two weeks, I made a couple of friends. However, after a while, these new ‘friends’ began to mock me. One of them, in particular, started to bully me more often. Sometimes, he would use a needle to poke my backside, which hurt. The situation got worse. Just a day before the movement control order was enforced due to the Covid-19 pandemic, he lied to my other friends, leading to a fight. Someone stabbed my arm, causing me to bleed. Luckily, a teacher intervened in time. I was scared, distressed and angry. This incident taught me to be cautious about whom I befriend and to avoid getting involved in situations that could lead to more trouble.” – Ron, 17
“I went through a period in secondary school when most of my classmates targeted me for reasons I struggled to understand. They verbally insulted me, mocked my appearance and isolated me. I felt helpless and unsure of how to make them accept me. The anxiety, fear and dread of attending school daily were overwhelming. I sought support from encouraging friends and found solace in uplifting music. These methods provided me with social and mental support, helping me find inner peace and focus on self-love. As I began to care less about the opinions of others, I gained more control over my life and well-being.” – Jin Yi, 21
