Siti: Our motivation to stay fit should come from self-love, not societal pressure, harsh words, or instant gratification.
Teen cautions against harmful remarks on body image
CONFIDENCE isn’t always easy, especially in a world that constantly judges your appearance.
For me, “delulu is the solulu” (delusion is the solution) – a phrase adopted by Gen Z in recent times – is my life mantra.
I’ve learnt to embrace my own version of reality; for instance, I believe that Timothée Chalamet is infatuated with me, and nothing can change my mind.
My “delusions” are what makes me confident. I don’t particularly mind being chubbier than my peers. Sure, I’m not delusional enough to think I’m the prettiest girl in the room; I’m simply okay with being “fat”.
Unlike most people my size who shy away from the spotlight, I thrive in it.
I was active in public speaking and served as president of both the English club and the peer support association in secondary school.
I received many compliments about my confidence, but one comment in particular kickstarted my 10-kilogramme weight loss journey: “It’s great to see someone like you so confident!”
The compliment felt more like a backhanded acknowledgment, as if it were surprising for someone “fat” to be confident.
What did they mean by “someone like you”? I’m not just a “fat person” – I’m a whole person with emotions, thoughts, and worth far beyond my appearance. That subtle comment cut through my cheerful, confident exterior.
Coupled with other hurtful remarks, it pushed me to lose weight.
Words like “you’d be pretty if you were a little skinnier” or “you should do something about yourself” lit a fire in me.
Some argue that fat people deserve bullying or tough love because it creates urgency to change.
True, those hurtful remarks were the push I needed initially. But here’s the thing: that motivation isn’t sustainable. Relying on external negativity led me to experience burnout, mental exhaustion, and resentment.
Instead of motivating long-term change, mean comments cause emotional harm. Shame and self-hatred often bubble up, triggering unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating to numb the pain. The vicious cycle continues.
So no, people with obesity don’t “deserve” this kind of treatment. It’s counterproductive.
Interestingly, I’ve noticed that the people who comment the most about my body are older relatives – uncles, aunties, and even teachers.
It’s strange because you’d expect them, being older and supposedly wiser, to understand the harm these comments can cause. Yet, it’s my friends and classmates, people my age, who are more respectful and careful when discussing body weight.
This may be due to generational differences. Many older people grew up in an era where open commentary on someone’s size was normalised.
They may not fully grasp the psychological toll these comments can take, especially now that we know more about body image, mental health, and the complex relationship between weight and well-being.
Although this explains why older people are more inclined to make such comments, it doesn’t excuse the hurtful and ignorant things they say.
So, how do we change the narrative? Positive body image doesn’t mean ignoring health or glorifying obesity. It means recognising that self-worth isn’t dictated by appearance. People of all shapes and sizes deserve respect because, at the end of the day, we’re all human.
Our motivation to stay fit should come from self-love, not societal pressure, harsh words, or instant gratification.
Health is also about how you feel, not just how you look. When the focus is on well-being rather than conforming to standards, it becomes easier to sustain.
I recently managed to lose 6kg. It feels good to see only two digits on the scale after such a long time. I have a long way to go in my weight loss journey, but what intrigues me is how my motivation has changed.
It might seem corny to tell you to love yourself but in the pursuit of self-improvement, words are powerful. They can build us up or break us down.
True motivation for health comes from love, not cruelty. It’s the positive voices that truly help us stay on track. So, as corny or cringe-worthy as it may sound, be kinder to yourself and to others.
Siti, 19, a student in Sabah, is a participant of the BRATs Young Journalist Programme run by The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) team. For updates on the BRATs programme, go to facebook.com/niebrats.
With the theme of the article in mind, carry out the following English language activities.
1 How do you think one should respond to comments about one’s body size? Role-play a scenario with your friends that concludes with a positive lesson.
2 Look in today’s newspaper for fitness activities that you would like to do with your friends. Cut out the clippings and present them during a show-and-tell session with your classmates. Do they support your suggestions?
The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) programme promotes the use of English language in primary and secondary schools nationwide. For Star-NiE enquiries, email starnie@thestar.com.my.
