Mothers’ wish: While a lot has been done to provide various initiatives and a good support system for mothers, more can be done to help them face new challenges. — AZMAN GHANI/The Star
THIS Mothers Day, Sunday Star speaks to mums about the challenges they face and what the government can do to make their lives better.
Flexible working hours and more tax reliefs for single parents
Madeline Tan, 36, single mother
SLEEP deprivation.
That was 36-year-old Madeline Tan’s immediate answer when asked what she finds most challenging about being a mother to an eight-year-old girl.
It is especially more difficult for her as she has been a single mother since four years ago when her husband suddenly passed away from a heart condition.
“When she was younger, as a single mother I had to handle her alone from day till night.
“From the moment I wake up, I have to handle her things like prepare her milk, and then send her to the nanny before going to work.
“At night, I have to spend time teaching and guiding her, and after she sleeps, I still have to do the housework,” she says.
She doesn’t get any respite on the weekends either.
All parents want to prepare their child for success from a young age and she is no different as on weekends, she has to send her daughter to extra classes such as dance and swimming lessons.
On top of all that, she is still responsible for preparing for the following week with grocery shopping, laundry and so on.
“I always need to plan the time for everything we do. I can’t even sleep late on weekends because I have to wake up early with my daughter to prepare breakfast,” she adds.
As such, Tan, who works in administration at a private company, says she could use the government’s help with facilitating flexible working hours, more subsidies for groceries, utilities and housing as well as for her daughter’s education.
She laments that single mothers have more hidden expenses and as such, she hopes the government will give more tax deductions for single parents.
“I see that there are kindergarten tax reliefs up to RM3,000 (for the year 2023). Why can’t the government include some tax reliefs for daycare as well?
“I need to send my daughter to daycare so I can attend work at the office,” she says.
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Better renumeration for early childhood educators
Farhana Zainuddin, 31, working mother
THEY say it takes a village to raise a child.
Farhana Zainuddin will probably agree with this sentiment.
The 31-year-old civil servant, who has a four-year-old daughter with her husband, finds it tough to balance her work and caring for her child.
Luckily for her, she has a strong support system through her husband, in-laws and daycare.
“I feel there are not enough hours in a day. It is not possible for me to do everything without help.
“My job is very demanding and requires me to put in long hours at the office so I need a lot of help from my support system to ensure that my daughter is cared for and has all her needs met.
“Without this support, I would not be able to have a career at all,” she says.
Farhana also credits the benefits she has received from the government’s existing initiatives such as tax reliefs on breastfeeding equipment, daycare fees and the National Education Savings Scheme (SSPN).
However, like many parents of young children, Farhana is grateful for the work that early childhood educators do for their kids, so she would like to see them receive more recognition.
Most teachers do not receive salaries that match their qualifications nor are they provided with opportunities for professional development, she adds.
“What I’d like to see now is for early childhood educators to be rewarded more.
“They are severely underpaid but they do the crucial work of educating our children and looking after them when parents have to attend to other responsibilities.
“As a mother, I hope that the government can find concrete solutions to ensure that these educators will be able to get compensation commensurate with the important work they do in society.
“They must be paid a wage that can provide them with a decent life and reasonable working conditions,” she says.
But of course, more than anything, Farhana’s wish for Mothers Day is for her daughter to grow up healthy, happy and safe always.
Improved education system
Izah Badrol Hisham, 36, working mother
IN our meritocratic society, education is one of the most important things that can lead to success in one’s future.
Hence many parents regard their children’s education as a matter of utmost importance.
It is no different for 36-year-old Izah Badrol Hisham whose main concern as a mother is her son’s education.
“Education is important because, without it, we can’t go any further. Education also empowers individuals with confidence and we can be more creative and innovative with it,” she says.
Many mothers see their children’s education as their paramount priority and hope the government can improve the country's school and early education system further. — 123rf
Izah concerns about her son’s education are not entirely unfounded.
Just last week, a World Bank report showed that Malaysian children are struggling with learning outcomes compared to our neighbouring countries with similar gross national income per capita.
The report revealed that the average Malaysian student spends 12.5 years in school but learns the equivalent of 8.9 years.
In comparison, Vietnamese students achieve 10.7 years of learning in 12.9 years of schooling while the average child in Singapore spends 13.9 years in school and learns the equivalent of 12.8 years.
“Often we hear that the current education system (in Malaysia) is rigid and not up to par. It is difficult to choose which is the best for your kids but the best always comes with a high price,” says Izah.
The Education Ministry has since said they are already addressing the issues raised by the World Bank in a progressive and proactive manner.
Izah, who works in the logistics department of a retail company, says she rarely gets the opportunity to fetch her son from kindergarten as her office is far from the kindergarten.
As such, she says she does not often get the chance to ask his teachers about his well-being or progress at school.
“I would like to see the government facilitate affordable kindergarten or daycare near workplaces.”
More tax reliefs – especially for single parents – and subsidies for childcare are always appreciated, say many mothers. — 123rf
Protection and assistance for stay-at-home mothers
Hemalatha Subramaniam, 46, entrepreneur and homemaker
BEING a stay-at-home mother is not as easy as people think it is.
Especially when, like 46-year-old Hemalatha Subramaniam, they are also juggling between being a homemaker and running their own home business.
Hemalatha, who is a mother to three, aged 20, 17 and 13, says she quit her full-time job in a private company three years ago so she can have more time for her family.
However, as a family in the M40 category, she knew she could not rely only on her husband’s salary, so she started taking orders for homebaked cakes.
“It’s not only about concentrating on my children, I still have to think about developing my business.
“People say housewives can sit at home, just relax and take their own sweet time. That is not it.
“The main income is only based on my husband’s salary so I still have to plan for extra income, extra expenses and all that,” she says.
Hemalatha cites examples of her extra expenses such as her oldest son’s college tuition fees and fees for courses she took to launch her home business.
While she understands that the B40 group may need more help from the government, she also urges the government to look at helping M40 families as well.
“Whatever policy the government comes up with, they start with the B40, but they have to really look into the M40 category also. A lot of M40 people still need more help,” she says.
At the same time, she says any aid given by the government is usually dispersed to the head of the household, who is often the husband.
“They should consider giving (the aid) to the housewife instead.
“The head of the family is already earning so they should give it to the wife because they are the ones who handle all the expenses.”
She also points to the Housewives’ Social Security Scheme (SKSSR) which was implemented on Dec 1, 2022 to provide social security protection to housewives against domestic injury and invalidity while managing the household.
While this is a good move, Hemalatha says currently husbands have to voluntarily choose to make contributions for their wives.
“It means it is not compulsory. The government should press more on that.”
Zulaikha says fathers should be given longer paternity leaves to help their wives with their post-birth recovery and to take care of the newborn baby. — SAMUEL ONG/The Star
Boost for paternity leave
Zulaikha Zulkifli, 36, working mother
SIMILAR to Hemalatha, Zulaikha Zulkifli is also juggling between being a stay-at-home mother to two sons, aged seven and three, and being a freelance media consultant.
The 36-year-old was a full-time working mother in the media and communications industry for six years before she decided to quit to focus on her family following the birth of her second son.
Zulaikha says back then she was always busy at work and had no time to even have “real conversations” with her family.
“I was struggling to handle one kid, now there are two.
“Because of that, I quit from my previous work to focus on my family.
“I think, in our life, whatever happens, sometimes you need to sacrifice for a better future,” she says.
At one point during her full-time career before the birth of their second son, Zulaikha says her husband quit his job briefly to take care of their eldest.
Now that her husband is back to full-time work, she says the government should look into improving not only maternity leave but also paternity leave.
“There should be maternity leave of at least four months for the mother and one month for the husband.
“If the wife had a Caesarean section, one week (of paternity leave) is not enough for the husband to help his wife. I had to undergo two Caesarean sections!”.
At the same time, Maternal and Child health clinics should allow husbands to accompany and enter the consultation rooms, she says.
“The father should also take part and keep updated on what is happening to his wife and the child inside the womb. The child is also his.”
Since the husband spends the day at work, Zulaikha says most of the time she goes out alone with her two children and struggles with the lack of parent-friendly public toilets.
“It’s so difficult if I want to go to the toilet but I have to leave my kids outside without anyone to take care of them.
“This is something that the Housing and Local Government Ministry or the local councils can help by giving a guide to every developer (to build parent-friendly public toilets),” she says.
In terms of other policies, Zulaikha hopes that the government can tighten regulations for daycares, nurseries and kindergartens especially those which are private and based in shophouses or houses.
Working mothers have to deal with the 'double burden' of having to juggle between working at their jobs and taking care of their household affairs. — Agencies
Subsidies on daycare fees
Puteri Nurhamizah Amanina Megat Suhaimi, 29, working mother
PUTERI Nurhamizah Amanina Megat Suhaimi feels she was lucky to have given birth to her first child during the pandemic lockdown.
This is because during the lockdown, the 29-year-old and her husband were allowed to work from home so they had more time to spend with their child.
Now expecting her second child, Puteri, who works in the digital department of a government-linked company (GLC), says she is not sure how they will handle the new birth as she and her husband are back to working from the office mostly full-time.
“I’m not sure how the situation will be because it will be different from last time,” she says.
She hopes the government will provide longer paternity leave for her husband, so that he can help her out with recovery and childcare post-birth.
“Sure, we get maternity leave, but I am also recovering and I also need help with the kids, so it will be good if we can increase the number of days for paternity leave.”
The couple also had to take into consideration their first child when they first went back to work from the office, as he will need supervision while they are at work.
Puteri says they struggled to find a suitable daycare for their son when he was an infant and eventually settled on hiring a nanny as their son has eczema and needed extra care.
“That takes up a lot of money,” she laments.
Now he is in daycare, but with an office in the city centre, the cost of daycare near her office tends to be sky-high.
Hence, she hopes the government can provide some kind of subsidies on daycare fees to help offset the cost.
“I would want to send my kids to a daycare nearby (my office) but the options there are expensive.
“If there can be some sort of subsidies to make it more affordable, that would be good.”
