Emerging in the early 2000s, the manosphere began as a space for men’s rights and self-improvement but has since veered into darker territory.— Freepik
BEN CHAN was unsure how to move on after his breakup.
Bitter, lost and angry, Chan felt like a failure. Just three days after being dumped by his girlfriend, he found himself at his brother’s fifth wedding anniversary celebration at a luxurious hotel in Kuala Lumpur.
“And I had to give a rousing speech about how I admire him for his success in life and marriage,” Chan recalls.
“It was ridiculous. I gave a flat, monotonous speech because any display of joyous emotion felt hollow when my own life was in pieces.”
As if the night couldn’t get worse, his car broke down on the way home – vandalised, with sugar poured into the fuel tank.
“It felt like I was in a bad rom-com,” he says.
Now 25 and running an online banana cracker business, Chan decided to go online in search of guidance. He wasn’t looking for pity. He wanted to rediscover his confidence and reclaim his “mojo”.”
“I just needed someone to show me how to be a man again,” he admits.
Soon, Chan stumbled upon male influencers on X who preached the art of “being a real man.”
“At first, I found influencers talking about self-improvement – hitting the gym, reading books, or travelling. That seemed fine.
“But then I saw others promoting outright hate against women.”
One saying particularly disturbed him: “Men age like fine wine, but women are just milk.”
Chan had unknowingly entered the “manosphere,” a collection of websites, blogs and forums focused on men’s issues and interests. Emerging in the early 2000s, this subculture began as a space for men’s rights and self-improvement but has since veered into darker territory.
Manly journey: The manosphere subculture began as a space for men’s rights and self-improvement but has since veered into darker territory — TNS
Today, parts of the manosphere normalise misogyny, offering toxic views on gender roles under the guise of self-empowerment. Influencers like Andrew Tate have become emblematic of this shift, often promoting polarising ideas that blur the line between confidence-building and outright bigotry.
The manosphere’s influence has reached Malaysia, where some local influencers mimic the sexist rhetoric and mannerisms of figures like Tate.
Based on an article by life coach Julien Florkin, the manosphere trend in Malaysia is still relatively new but gaining traction – it often focuses on traditional gender roles and the perceived erosion of these roles due to modern societal changes.
These messages stray far from the concept of healthy masculinity, which encourages men to express themselves freely, pursue physical health and develop life goals. Instead, misogynistic manosphere often reinforces rigid stereotypes and criticises feminism for undermining men’s rights.
Another main concern over such a misogynistic manosphere is this – the line between promoting healthy masculinity and a toxic one is often blurred, leading to a potential detriment to impressionable minds of boys looking for role models.
Registered counselor Raymund Jagan sees the manosphere as a reactionary response to feminism.
“In its early days, the manosphere may have been a counterbalance to feminism. It is more widespread in the United States or western world.”
The manosphere in the US is more established and diverse, with various subgroups such as Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs), Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), Pickup Artists (PUAs) and the Red Pill community.
These groups often have a more pronounced presence and influence in the US, partly due to the larger population and more extensive use of social media platforms.
The US manosphere, Jagan says, benefits from larger populations and greater social media reach, but this influence also brings risks; extreme ideologies, some of which advocate for radical societal changes, are not uncommon.
A study by the Friedrich-Ebert-Stiftung (FES) foundation highlights how some influencers use pseudo-science and decontextualised psychology to legitimise misogyny. They cherry-pick quotes from philosophers like Aristotle and psychologists like Carl Jung to validate harmful narratives.
Jagan stresses that young people can protect themselves by cultivating healthier online environments.
“Your experience depends on the echo chamber you create. If you don’t look for toxic content, you’re less likely to encounter it.”
He also emphasises the importance of parenting, particularly for fathers.
“Better fathers can serve as better role models, so boys won’t need to seek validation from toxic figures online.”
For Chan, the manosphere offered an initial glimmer of hope, but its toxic undercurrents ultimately pushed him away.
“I just wanted to regain my confidence. I’m still nervous around women. Unless I’m convincing them to buy banana crackers, I freeze up at the thought of asking someone out.”
But Chan refuses to adopt the manosphere’s blanket negativity toward women.
“A woman hurt me, but that doesn’t mean all women are the same. You know what I mean?”
As he serves the writer a bowl of banana crackers, Chan smiles faintly. His journey to rebuild his confidence may be far from over, but he is determined to forge his path without falling into the manosphere’s toxic traps.
