Loving home: Children at the Ti Ratana welfare society taking lessons in Desa Petaling in Kuala Lumpur. - AZHAR MAHFOF/The Star
PETALING JAYA: If you have no heart and patience for the various challenges, don’t run a welfare home.
This is the advice given by welfare home operators to those who are interested in getting into charity work.
Persatuan Rumah Kebajikan Rita (Rita Home’s) person in charge, Eve Peters, said dealing with children can exhaust one’s patience and can be mentally taxing at times, especially with a kid who has special needs.
“Sometimes we get ‘bengang’ (angry) with our children also, but we never resort to abusing them.
“Physical punishment should come only when it’s needed and must be practised to educate, not harm,” she said in an interview.
Having experienced dealing with special needs children previously, Eve said the home now cares for a young woman with Down syndrome.
“She is very teachable, as long as the carers are patient to teach and remind her several times. Now she even helps around looking after the old folks at the home.”
However, Eve said that “it would be a lie” to say a home never resorted to physical punishment because some children or old folks can become difficult and stubborn.
“That is why if one has no heart and patience to deal with all sorts of temper tantrums, then don’t set up a home for children or senior citizens. They may be difficult, but they certainly don’t deserve to be physically abused,” she said.
Eve noted that Rita Home is subject to frequent scrutiny by the authorities.
“The Health Department will call us every quarter to check the number of our dependents, and they will come twice a year for field visits. The Welfare Department often conducts spot checks to ensure we keep up and are capable of caring for them,” she said, adding that the department also has periodic training for carers.
An orphanage founder, who only wanted to be known as Wang, said a knowledge gap often occurs when carers are not properly trained to handle children with special needs. He said many of them often learned from experience or from their superiors at the home they serve.
“Many homes hire foreigners who have no prior training to work; most of them come on board out of love and compassion.
“Some may not understand, and when a case becomes problematic, the carer just snaps and eventually harms the person,” he said.
Wang, who is based in Klang, concurred that lots of love and patience were needed to run a charity home.
“For example, someone may make a hoo-ha seeing a mentally disabled child have his hands bound while being made to sit on the floor.
“What he may not realise is that the child could be throwing a tantrum, hurting himself and other children and carers.
“So keeping him bound is a temporary measure to calm him down. It is not abuse.
“It only takes someone who has been there and done that to understand why.
“People must not judge too fast by just looking at the surface without realising what has really happened,” he added.
No one, said Wang, should lightly dive in to set up a home just out of sympathy.
“Yes, we feel sad when we see disabled children or those with special needs.
“Some learned to empathise when caring for their aged parents and want to get involved.
“But when they do, they realise not everyone behaves the same way as their parents.
“We need to be realistic and be prepared for the challenges ahead,” he added.
