PETALING JAYA: Adam (not his real name) has been working day and night to make ends meet.
His wife is six months’ pregnant with their first child and Adam has been taking side jobs over the weekends.
“I go to work early and often return home late. I am worried that I don’t have enough for my child and wife. Everything is so expensive nowadays. The price of diapers and formula milk scares me,” said the expectant father who is in a bittersweet mood on Fathers Day today.
Adam is among many fathers suffering from mental stress as they grind it out to make ends meet, experts said.
This dilemma is also prevalent in twin-income households as husbands and wives work hard to put food on the table amid the rising cost of living.
Mental health counsellor and family dispute resolution practitioner Dr Arman Rashid (pic) said many fathers are increasingly anxious about their ability to provide for their families.
“The global economy is yet to recover from the Covid-19 pandemic and the Ukraine war, leading to increasing poverty across the world,” he said.
“This has affected the mental health of everyone in society, more so for fathers who are the primary breadwinners.
“Many fathers are feeling increasingly stressed, anxious and perhaps even inadequate in confronting the question ‘Will I be able to provide for my family?’.”
Their worry mostly stemmed from financial insecurity due to rising expenses and depleting savings.
“Such financial stress often causes psychological distress for fathers, increasing their risks of long-term mental health conditions, substance abuse and self-harm, and suicide.
“In patriarchal cultures, men often have self-loathing tendencies with shame and hopelessness for not being able to fend for their families,” he added.
Arman said ultimately, mental stress caused by financial stress often ended in family conflicts and the need for fathers with deteriorating mental health to seek help.
“There is an alarming spike in family violence in Malaysia and globally in the aftermath of the pandemic. This is not to make excuses for violence against women and children but to recognise the need for fathers with deteriorating mental health to seek professional help.
“As a counsellor and family dispute resolution practitioner, I have seen how family conflicts after the pandemic affected the entire family unit, particularly children,” he said.
Better Dads Malaysia (BDM), an NGO that supports the development of fatherhood, said mental health issues remain a growing concern in the country.
Its president Joshua Hong said it must be acknowledged that it is not easy for men to open up and share their emotions.
He said there is also a need to dispel the misconception surrounding mental health.
“Mental health is just as important as physical health. I encourage men to open up and speak to their spouse or someone they trust if they are unable to cope with stress or if they are feeling emotionally unwell.
“If there are doubts about whether mental health issues are present, it’s important to know that the government and many NGOs can help verify one’s situation.
“Better Dads Malaysia is also making efforts to develop initiatives to address and support men and fathers in this regard,” Hong said.
