In need of help: Nailah assisting her mother, Zawidatul Asma, at their home in Subang Jaya.
PETALING JAYA: Caring for elderly parents is a calling filled with sacrifices and intense challenges, as many children in that position will attest.
Despite that, they go about their filial duties with dogged determination, balancing compassion with the strains that come with caregiving.
With a Senior Citizens Bill being proposed by the government, many families are hopeful of getting assistance from the government, particularly in caring for their aged parents.
Mohd Hanif Hamid, 53, should know what it takes, having looked after his aged parents for over two years.
His 80-year-old father is unable to walk after a fall, while his mother, 78, has memory issues.
“I am lucky because my wife is very helpful, and my parents don’t have chronic illnesses. But they do require constant care,” he said.
Mohd Hanif said the decision to have his parents move in with him in Puchong came after his father’s accident.
“They wanted to live independently but after dad’s fall, we realised they needed more support,” he added.
Although his parents are not demanding, Mohd Hanif acknowledged the emotional toll of caregiving, saying: “It can be exhausting at times.”
One of Mohd Hanif’s greatest concerns is the lack of spaces for senior citizens to socialise.
“We have youth centres, but what about for the elderly? My parents feel lonely when we are away at work.
“Human beings need interaction, regardless of age,” he said, adding that simple activities like knitting, board games or pottery would be helpful.
For Marzuki Ahmat, 46, caregiving became his full-time role about a year ago when his mother, who had her leg amputated due to diabetes, moved in with him.
“My father died years ago, so it’s just been my younger brother and me. We take turns caring for her,” he said.
Facilitating the daily routines, such as feeding her, helping with her personal care and helping her read the Quran, was quite a challenge.
It came to the point that Marzuki said he gave up his job at a furniture store to attend to his mother’s needs.
“I hope the government can provide financial subsidies for those in my situation. Hiring a caregiver is expensive,” he said.
As for Nailah Abdul Fatah, she has been the primary caregiver for her 76-year-old mother over the past four years.
Initially, both of her parents lived with her in Subang Jaya till her father’s passing last year.
Nailah, a widow, relies on her eldest son to support the family financially.
“My mother’s memory is failing. Sometimes she’ll ask, ‘Where’s your father? I haven’t seen him in a while,” said the 48-year-old.
Although she treasures the moments with her mother, the physical and emotional demands of caregiving have taken a toll on her.
“Lifting her is a challenge. A medical bed will make a huge difference but we can’t afford it,” she added.
Nailah called on the government to ensure a proper support system for caregivers.
“Equipment like wheelchairs and medical beds will make a huge difference,” she said.
Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Nancy Shukri recently told the Dewan Negara that the Senior Citizens Bill was being reviewed.
The proposed legislation seeks to address issues such as neglect and abandonment, with potential penalties for children who fail to care for their parents or just place them in care homes.
Former Malaysian Bar president Salim Bashir said the Bill was important in addressing these challenges, adding that it must create a robust legal framework to protect senior citizens.
“The Bill should focus on preventing abandonment and offering financial support to parents,” he said, adding that the proposal to hold children accountable for maintaining their aged parents would discourage neglect, abandonment and abuse.
Salim also proposed measures to strengthen institutional support, including setting up tribunals that are empowered to issue maintenance orders and ensure compliance.
