The behaviour of a Hong Kong mother who keeps a tight rein on her 30-year-old son has been publicly exposed after details of their unhealthy relationship were posted online by a concerned friend of the son.
The post was made by an unidentified woman on Hong Kong’s popular DiscussHK forum, describing the intensely close relationship between her long-suffering friend and his “controlling” mother. The post was first published late last year but received renewed interest after a local media outlet HK01 reported it earlier this month.
The woman wrote that she has a male friend about to turn 30 who has his comings and goings strictly monitored by his mother, to whom he has to explain his every action and seek her permission for just about everything.
“Does this mother care about her son, or does she just not trust him? My friend is a mature person. Why does he still need to be so strictly watched?” the woman asked in the post.
“Sometimes I don’t even want to hang out with him because I don’t want his mother to call me.”
The mother’s invasive behaviour and attempts to control her son did not end there; the friend described how the mother would ask her son to provide the names and phone numbers of any friends he was spending time with, justifying it by claiming she feared being unable to contact him in an emergency.
Once the mother received her son’s friends’ details, she would call each of them to check if they were with her son. If his friends answered her call, she would remind them to be careful going out and not stay out too late.
Then, on top of this layer of surveillance, on the days her son went out, she would make video calls so she could see if he had lied about where he was and who he was with.
On DiscussHK forum, most of the more than 80 comments on the post felt the mother was too strict and controlling.
“This mum doesn’t want to let her son go,” said one person.
Another person said: “Sometimes this kind of mother can drive her children crazy and make it hard for them to get along with others in the future.”
Some saw the humour in the story, with one person joking: “It’s not strict at all. She didn’t even ask to go out with her son.”
A few people defended the mother for caring so much, with one person commenting: “It’s a blessing to still have a mother in charge at 30. Cherish it!” – South China Morning Post