Women have figured out a way to tell if men are lying about their height on dating apps. — Getty Images/The New York Times
Men on dating apps: Be warned. The ladies are on to you. At least, they know you’re lying about your height.
Women are using ChatGPT in a new, creative, and detective-like way to determine if the men they’re talking to on apps are being truthful about the height they’ve listed on their profiles. They do it by providing the AI platform a few pictures and asking it to determine the man’s height.
“The girls are using ChatGPT to see if men are lying about their height on dating apps,” Justine Moore said in a post on X. “Upload four pictures, it uses proportions and surroundings to estimate height.”
After providing ChatGPT with four pictures of a man, Moore received the following response: “Based on the images you’ve uploaded, I would estimate that the man is approximately 6’3” or 6’4” tall, considering his proportions and how he appears next to other people and objects in the photos.”
Moore didn’t respond to Fortune’s request for comment, but wrote on X, “I tested it on 10 friends and family members – all estimates were within one inch of their real height.”
This is just the latest trend of women using technology to outsmart men on dating apps. Women turn to online forums and Facebook groups called “Are We Dating the Same Guy” to solicit information about potential dates – like whether they’ve cheated in the past or if they exhibit any red flags.
“Women are also great at searching online to really get a full picture of the person they are chatting with, whether it's checking out their social handles or having savvy friends help them do this,” Jeannie Assimos, a former vice president at eHarmony for 10 years, told Fortune.
Reverse Google image searching and online background checks are other ways women are employing technology when sussing out men on dating apps. ChatGPT could also be used to fact-check information about a potential date and see what other information about them appears online, Assimos said.
Why men lie about their height on dating apps
While it may be stereotypical to say men are the only ones who lie about their appearance or details on dating apps, that’s a fallacy. However, it’s a widespread phenomenon, and Assimos estimates that people lie about their height “very often” on dating apps: “I would say at least 50% of the time.”
“It really sours the experience for so many people who go through cycles of hopefulness and disappointment and then again are forced to use the apps because it is tough to meet people otherwise,” Assimos said. “So it doesn’t serve anyone to lie, yet people do it all the time.”
In fact, women tend to lie about personal information on dating apps too.
“Men lie about their height as much as women lie about their age, which is often,” Elsa Moreck, a dating coach for men who has an Instagram following of more than 180,000 and TikTok following of nearly 150,000. “It definitely creates a lot of distrust on dating apps because that’s not the only way people lie on there.”
People also use filters and other photo editing techniques that are undetectable to the naked eye, like for masking wrinkles and making someone’s hair appear to be thicker, Moreck said.
Deception in dating goes way back. In fact, “human mating strategy has always involved some form of deception,” Wendy Walsh, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert for DatingAdvice.com, told Fortune. “Evolutionary psychologists would say that our mate choices are related to reproductive fitness – even if we don’t consciously want to make a baby.”
This instinct could make women lie about their age and body weight, “giving an illusion of youth and health,” Walsh said. For men, deception involves height “because anthropologically, women wanted to produce strong sons. Women also preferred taller, stronger men for protection. Some evolutionary psychologists would say this selection bias is hardwired into our ancient brains.”
Using AI in dating
While AI is being used as a fact-checking tool for evaluating potential dates, the use of this technology expands further. The use of AI within dating apps has made this tradition more like a game, Assimos said.
“Dating has become gamified through the apps, which is not a great thing in my opinion,” she said. “People forget that these are human beings behind the profile, and they should be treated with kindness.”
On the flip side, AI is also being used to develop fake relationships with bots, which can be equally as eerie.
“The kind of AI that concerns me most in our personal relationships is artificial intimacy,” Walsh said. “People can now have an emotional relationship with a bot or an operating system where the technology is all-adoring and the relationship involves little give-and-take and no friction. This trend could emotionally stunt an entire generation.” – Fortune.com/The New York Times
